Morning Mail! TomKat Split, so Who's Surprised?!

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Tom Cruise, Katie HolmesNorman Scott/

Dear Ted:
Have to know what you think of or if you know any dirt behind the TomKat split?! I don't know why I'm surprised, but I kind of am. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' divorce has to do with his B.V., right? I'm almost positive you said she doesn't have one.

Dear Duh:
Where to begin, Katie?! Well I'll start by saying this: Yes, I was surprised…by the timing. There have been issues dividing the A-list power couple for a while, it's true, but maybe Tommy was hoping all the good reviews for his part in Rock of Ages would overshadow this bombshell? Ha! Hardly. As for Vices, you're right on the money. He has one, though it may have less to do with the divorce than you'd think.

Dear Ted:
What's going on with Nick Jonas and Kym Johnson? Please explain this 16-year age difference. Dating? Just friends? Revenge on Delta Goodrem? Or is Nick just trying to secure a spot on next season's Dancing with the Stars?

READ: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Divorcing

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Dear Cougar Attack:
Sure, there have been rumors that Nick and Kym were spotted canoodling in London, but I'm not putting too much stock in this May-December romance. And you shouldn't either. The youngest JoBro wants us all to know he's wise beyond his years, but if he were that smart he might consider a DWTS stint. Just sayin'.

Dear Ted:
I really don't get some of today's supposed hotties. The Hemsworth boys, for instance. I just don't see it. But that's just me. But Nevis Devine fascinates me. I wonder if he's more my type. Could you pretty please let me know?

Dear Blind Blasphemy:
Hold your tongue, babe! I know beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and everything, but with Liam Hemsworth's perfectly coiffed hair and dashing good looks, and older brother Chris's perfect abs and, well, just about everything else, I think that's black and white on the sexiness scale. And Nev isn't too far off. Though his abs might not be as toned, he's got that fab hair. And franchise moolah, just like both Liam and Chris!

READ: Kristen Stewart Introduces a Drunk Chris Hemsworth in New Snow White and the Huntsman Clip!

Dear Ted:
You said none of the 30 Rock cast has Vices, but what about Alec Baldwin? I thought for sure he had a moniker!

Dear Upper Management:
None of The Girlie Show gang does; that I've made clear in the past (you're off the hook, Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan). As for Alec, not only does he have a moniker, but he has been inducted into the Vice Hall of Fame! Wonder if his new bride knows that.

Dear Ted:
Hollywood is all about the young up-'n'-comers…but whatever happened to the likes of Meg Ryan and Michelle Pfeiffer, two of my all-time favorite leading ladies?

READ: Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas Step Out as Newlyweds, Show Off Wedding Bands

Dear Young and the Rested:
Meg might not be having the box office success she once had—which I could blame on multiple thingsbut Michelle had a career reboot of sorts by seducing that very same young H'wood you speak of. Of course I'm talking about her chemistry with Zac Efron. Here's hoping she keeps up that sexpot charm on the big screen, eh?

Dear Ted:
Matthew Bomer must be Christian Grey. Or else.

Dear Fifty Shades of Threatening:
Calm down, Case! While I certainly support seeing Matt get his sexy on, you better get used to the idea of someone else stepping into the Red Room. But at least we all get to see Bomer booty in Magic Mike, right?!

PHOTOS: Tom & Kate Family Album

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